Dull Haiku

A selection from Twitter chosen by @lozarithm

Dull Haiku became a trending topic on Twitter around the beginning of 2010. 
The idea is believed to have been originated by Dan Rebellato. 
All the examples here included the hashtag #dullhaiku when submitted to Twitter by their author.



hmm, too much coleslaw
more than i can really eat
quite a conundrum



come on, everyone
let's brainstorm a solution
think outside the box


Stand at the bus stop
Bloody thing went right past me
Wait for the next one



No bus, no bus, rain
no bus no bus no bus rain
Here are two at once!


Oh look. It's that bloke.
From that thing. On the telly.
No, wait. It's not him



Looked out window, 
rain was wetly falling,
got my umbrella


I thought I saw Prince
Sitting in Pret-A-Manger
But it wasn't him



I can't find my coat
oh wait. There it is where I
left it yesterday



Have you seen my keys?
I left them on the table
Never mind - found them


where is page twenty?
maybe after page nineteen
oh yes there it is


This pen has no ink
so I can't write anything
oh, here's a new one



This is out of date
But I think it smells okay
I guess I'll risk it


Clink. Clink.
Recycling collection. Shit!
Haven't put mine out!


knock knock who is there?
I said, knock knock who is there?
hello? hello? uh?


[insert 1st line here]
[insert 2nd line here]
[insert 3rd line here]


I like my eggs fried
but sometimes I have them poached
or even scrambled



For lunch I might have
A cheese and pickle sandwich
If there's enough cheese


Remember that girl
What did she say about Greg?
Oh no you weren't there


A frog on a lily
did not jump into a pond
He made no splash. None


Where are my car keys?
I could have sworn I put them...
Oh wait there they are.


I'm looking for trains
They have different numbers
I've got no girlfriend


These spuds taste great love.
Did you do something different?
I just used duck fat.



I saw a lady
Who looked like Anne Widdecombe
Until she turned round


I think our neighbour
Has put his bins out early
Let's ring the council.


Have you seen my phone?
Susan, I can't find my phone
Oh, it's in my hand


My move on Scrabble
I'll exchange my tiles



Nurses jobs include
Saving lives and other things
Like clearing up shit



We've checked your account
You haven't had a review
Would you like one now?



Have you seen my hat?
It isn't on the coat peg
Oh I've got it on